Better Late than Never
The final chapter... of this book, at least
Wellllllllll well well, my friends… look who’s back. Back again! Dusting off the ol’ keyboard to enthrall ye loyal friends who have not yet set up an email filter for “Tom” that goes straight to the trash. I have been home for some time now, and I started this post months ago, but am finally getting around to wrapping it up. Some of you have heard most of the final saga, some of you have been a part of it, and I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you for your patience, support, and badgering.
tldr; had a blast, saw some cool stuff, stayed with my great friends, skiied a bunch, and I’m moving to India in August — stay tuned for more travel posts!!
Departing from Sante Fe, I ventured south into the New Mexican desert to see White Sands National Park1. When people ask my for the highlight of the trip… this is it. White Sands is an open park, and you can venture anywhere in its 230 square miles on foot, scrambling up and down dunes and through the various pockets of shrubbery. I arrived just before sunset and it was simply sublime
Unfortunately they have not reopened backcountry camping since the pandemic (unclear why it was shut down in the first place, given that sleeping in the open air desert is probably the safest thing that one can do…) so I slept in a nearby state park. It would have been nice to catch the sunrise as well… guess I have to go back! Yippee!!
Moving on via El Paso, where I stopped to watch the US vs England soccer game (Remember when the World Cup was going on? Yea, that’s how late this post is. Sheesh!), I headed to Guadalupe National Park. At 8,751 feet, Guadalupe Peak is the highest point in Texas. Here I made another trail buddy, Phoebe, who was a real treat! Hi Phoebe!
Phoebe guided me to a free campsite maintained by the Bureau of Land Management (the best way to camp in the west; they have many free, zero-amenities spaces where you can park, pitch, and carry out anything you bring in), for which I was very grateful. Spare me the fluff!
Close nearby is Carlsbad Caverns National Park, where I stopped for a few hours the next morning. This place is bonkers, easily the coolest cave I saw this trip (the others, for those of you who have not committed my itinerary to memory, were Jewel Cave and Wind Cave). The pictures really don’t do the scale of it any justice, but here are a few anyway.
Continuing in great haste, I met my dear cousin Johnny near Big Bend National Park. Right on the Rio in the western toe of Texas, it is so named for being a big bend in the river. Niceee2. Johnny is getting his PhD in clinical psychology in Denton, just North of Dallas — for the record this is not close folks, I think it was an 8 hour drive. When they say everything is bigger in Texas they really just mean that Texas is big as hell, and sometimes just as hot. We had a rocking’ good time for 3 nights, surviving on hella beans and rice and hitting the hot springs every night, walking by moonlight alone. Apparently there are little luminescent scorpions, so bring a UV light if you ever go and you will be able to see a bunch of them! Or don't, cause what you don't know can't hurt you.
Scattered around the park are lots of little craft stations where Mexican artists drop off their wares and a leave money tin, coming back at night to collect the cash. Immigration doesn’t mind… as long as they leave promptly…. don’t tell the feds, but Johnny and I did a little border crossing ourselves, on my inflatable kayak! You can also swim across the Rio after warming up in the hot springs, which is a great party trick that really wows the crowd.
Johnny, should I mention the... those… no, I'd better not.
I swung through Junction, TX and stayed at the only city park I have ever encountered that allowed for free tent camping, Schreiner Park. Bless those kind people. I kayaked a bit on the water there, was approached by some law enforcement who were hunting for some illegal immigrants (didn’t see ‘em, but also I ain’t no snitch), and drove one of the local residents home from his fishing outing as he told me about his life there — he was 18, had a couple kids, and seemed quite content!
Stopping a night in McKinney Falls just outside Austin, I met Jon and Jensen in the city, where they were attending a wedding the coming weekend.
We palled around Mayfield Park and Nature Preserve, hanging out with the resident peacocks and catching a rare glimpse of the 2009 City of Austin Small Tree of the Year!! I asked for its autograph but it totally stonewalled me :/.
Afterwards we headed up Mount Bonnell to catch the sunset, which was stunning. Here we met a few characters, including Congolese rap icon Brady DaDon and the MEEF twins. Stay MEEF y’all!!
The following day we headed to Blanton Art Museum to try on some new clothes, then swung by the capital to lob obscenities at Greg Abbott — just kidding, we would never do that! We take the high road.
On my way out of town I slept at Winnie Stowell Park, where somehow I left the blowup mattress that I had just bought at REI. The L’s were piling up at this point, but I took it in stride when I discovered this around 10pm at Gulf Islands National Seashore and I got the cheapest piece of crap I could find at the nearby Walmart (which actually served me quite well and was even more comfortable ultimately!).
I had a great time kayaking around and photographing some fine aquatic birds.
Heading eastward, I visited my dear cousin Paul in Tallahassee3. I spent some time just lounging at his house and playing Call of Duty, a rare luxury for this style of vacation, but we also camped in a nearby forest for a night because we just can’t get enough of the great outdoors :).
Near the end of my time there, my insulin pump completely malfunctioned and stopped charging. As you can imagine, it was a complete nightmare trying to get that sorted out — being newly on Medicaid, I didn't really have a regular endocrinologist, and Tandem would not send me a temporary loaner until I had officially purchased another pump from them (…what??). Anyway, I went on shots for a few weeks, which was a good reminder of what life is like without this thing!
Wrapping my way around the southeast, I headed north to Congaree National Park where I busted out my kayak for the last time </3.
As per usual, I did not really have a plan for where I was going to stay that night, but unlike usual, I was struggling to find something… huge shoutout to JP for hosting me on short notice in Columbia, SC! It was gettin’ cold out there, even in the south! Continuing northward I spent a night at the Pagets’ in Roanoke, helping them unpackaged their new and impressive Lovesac — believe me folks, this was easily the biggest beanbag I have ever seen, and it IS worth mentioning.
You would think I would be heading home at this point, because that would be the natural thing to do, given I was only a few hour drive away, but in a desperate attempt to keep the travel streak rolling, I actually headed straight to a cabin-weekend in Monterey, VA with the gang!! No stopping this train babyyy!!!
We have stayed at this spot many times, and we love it. Hosted by the Leeches, the sweetest folks around, it is close to Snowshoe mountain so has often be a ski base for us. If you like maple syrup, it’s the place for you. This time around I had to kick everyone’s ASS in Sorry. Losers love to say it’s all luck, but we all know it’s a thinking man’s game. Iiiiiiiiii’m soooooorrryyyyyyyyyy!!!
Now, to complete the 4 corners of the USA, I really should have headed to the Northeast for the ski season, but there was business to attend to back out west! Such as swinging through Cincy for my cousin Emily’s wedding, an absolute BLAST! Congrats Emily and Nate! A little gear swap with the fam, offloading my camping supplies in exchange for my skies, I continued onward towards the mountains of Denver. I swung through Iowa again on my way — at the beginning of my trip my Grandmother had Covid, but this time I got to spend some quality time! I gathered 4 hours or so of interview footage with her from this stay. Not sure what I’m going to do with it, but it was very enlightening gathering it and I’m sure I’ll stitch together something nice at some point.
I camped out in Denver for the month of January, splitting time between Lucy’s and Jon and Jensen’s places. December/January are major birthday months for this group (no wonder we love the Denver mountains so much) and we had a ball celebrating Lucy’s, Jensen’s, and my own birthdays!
I spent much of my free time skiing and playing Hanabi with my similarly funemployed hosts Jon and Jensen, but I also hit the botanical gardens a few times and participated in their orchid photo contest!
At the end of the month, I headed to Salt Lake for some alternative mountains, and to see Chloe and Molly. On the way I swung through Colorado Canyon National Monument, which was dazzling in the snow!
In my week in Salt Lake I mostly stayed with Chloe and Andy, along with their daughter Penelope. They were fabulous hosts, and Andy had just installed a new in-home movie theater, so naturally I binged Severance and forced them to watch Dune with me (one of my favorite movies, certainly my favorite recently). We also went to the aquarium, and I got a chance to see my all-time favorite animal, the mantis shrimp4!
Also on the list was the Tracy Aviary, which was a real treat!
I spent a few days skiing with Molly and Skylar. We had a blast! Congrats on your recent engagement, you two!!
Heading back towards Denver, I swung through Arches National Park, which was one of my favorite stops on the trip.
Homeward bound at last, I stayed a night each again in Denver, Iowa, and Cincy on the way, and arrived home in Vienna in mid-February. Naturally, I immediately bussed to NY (s/o to Alex and Josh for hosting me for a night or two) and flew on to France for the prologue — skiing in Chamonix!
I returned home and finally… drove straight to New Orleans for Zach’s bachelor party!! I stayed a night in Atlanta with Val and James on the way down, giving Ellison-Bellison a few belly rubs and getting a reminder on the ABCs from young Tesseroni.
On my way home I swung through the Great Smoky Mountains, the final park on the tour. In a downright calamitous turn of events, I accidentally went to the wrong campsite. The entire park was completely booked out for spring break, so I couldn’t stay there. It was quite late, and I was tired and PISSED, and I crushed the 1:45 minute drive through the mountains in a harrowing 1:15, putting my spankin’ new tires to the test. Thankfully they passed with flying colors.
Well, that about wraps it up. By which I mean I’m done writing. Those entries started getting shorter and shorter huh. I know y’all come for the pictures anyway :).
Anyway, thanks for reading this far. If you didn’t already know, I’m moving to Chennai, India for a year in August — see you there! Come visit! Or let me know if you’re nearby in Asia! Would love to see you all. Stay tuned for more posts once I am out there and settled in!!
For some other fun naming related things, watch this Demetri Martin video… ladies
Paulahassee?
More true facts. I recommend the duck one, though it’s not for the faint of heart.